Being Al-Rijal and An-Nisa’ (Part 2)

It is obvious that the future of every marriage depends on the couple’s characters. While men must be ar-rijal, who enable to lead, protect and sustain their family, in the same ayat (An-Nisa’: 34), Allah describes the characters of wives in interesting way as follows:-

So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard.

According to this ayat, the good wives are known as the righteous women. Like ar-rijal, to achieve this title, women must own two characters as follow:-

1. Be devoutly obedient,

2. Guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have.

In Islam, husbands are considered to be the leader as wives and children must obey to them. In fact, a marriage is likened as an organization which only the powerful leader coupled with full obedience from other members are needed in order to achieve its goal. Likewise, marriage in Islam also has its own goals. Asking for God blessing, fulfilling natural desire, establishing the family institution, to name but a few.

Moreover, being obedient does not mean wives lost their rights in expressing their views or disagreement. They are not servants since their husbands could not force them to do the unlawful things or the matters that are out of their ability. In addition, women entitle to explain if they do not agree or unable to do their husbands’ orders. In fact, the obedience of wives is not merely because they are loyal to their husbands, but it is done for the sake of God blessing.

As for the second character, a successful marriage is determined by how far both partners can handle jealousy, misunderstanding, and suspicion between each other. In reality, for every couple when they experience these problems, their emotion at that time is more dominant. Therefore, to prevent from happening, Islam asks women to keep their dignity, especially during her husband absence.

While the men struggle to fulfill the family necessities, the women play a prominent role in protecting the family dignity. For example, they must not give permission for others, even from their family entering the house during the absence of their husbands, except with their permission. Moreover, the wives are not allowed to go out without the husband's permission.

Some people claim that Islam restricts the freedom of women and their rights. Nevertheless, Islam looks this issue in the big picture since dignity is much more important than freedom. Face the fact, once women go out without their husband’s permission and mixing with others, especially those different genders, it invites trouble for them and their family. In fact, Islam does not limit the freedom of women as they are free to go out for study, shopping, and pursuing their career as far as they follow the rules.