Managing differences and conflicts

There is no doubt that it is impossible to have only a single opinion. No matter the subjects are, people cannot avoid from argumentation, debate, and dialog. It is normal since humans are created with physical and intellectual diversities. Moreover, diverse social-background and changeable lifestyle also influence the way they look and think.

Looking at the bright side, different opinions sometimes are beneficial for people as far as they can handle their consequences. In fact, people need more choices and views to improve their life. Apart from that, this circumstance encourages people to work hard to prove their idea is correct and better than their opponents.

Nevertheless, one cannot deny that differences might cause negative impacts. Some people sometimes feel that those who disagree are disrespectful to them. This situation would be exacerbated if it occurs between people who come from different level in term of age or social. Failing to handle it, might lead to serious conflict, even it's just about a small thing.

Quran gives to the clear guidelines on how to face the different view. One of them is cited in surah Az-zumar as Allah says:-

“Who listen to speech and follow the best of it. Those are the ones Allah has guided, and those are people of understanding” (Az-Zumar:18) 

Based on this ayat, Allah describes those who listen to other words and then, follow the best thereof are the guided person and the ones endued with understanding. In fact, the word ‘yastamiu’ does not mean to hear but to listen carefully and seriously.

By doing this, they will get the bigger picture and a better understanding from the speaker as well as can avoid misinterpretation. Moreover, the impact of different opinions could be minimized as people avoid jumping into conclusion.

As they listen to others, they should be allowed also to express their opinions. Giving the different idea or expressing the disagreement sometimes is too risky. Face the fact, people might come from different background as they might agree with us, or refuse to accept it in polite way, or belittle us.

Therefore, before continuing further argument, let know first the characters of those who disagree with us. Surah Al-A’rof illustrates this point of view.

“Take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.” (Al-A’rof:199)

According to this ayat, there are three steps that should be considered as follows:-
1. Forgiving those who disagree: Expressing ideas sometimes is not resulting positive outcomes. People might not understand or misread or could not see the point. Thus, forgiving them as well as being patient is the best measure to avoid the conflict.

2. Consistence in telling the truth: We should not withdraw our view as far as it is true, even some people reject it.

3. Avoiding the ignorant: The real problem in people conflict is not because of the different view but the attitude. The most annoying group is called the jahilin. In Quran, the word jahilin not refers for those who lack of knowledge but those who refuse to accept the truth. These people probably understand our point of view and acknowledge it, but because of arrogance, they create an unhealthy environment such as provoking, labeling, and belittling their opponent. Face the fact, discussing with this group might cause harmful situation instead of positive impacts.