Polygamy in West : A case of double standard

When the USA Supreme Court ended up legalizing the same sex marriage, the community of gay and lesbian has celebrated this historic decision across the country. It seems to be the peak of their fighting, especially to obtain full recognition by law for this kind of marriage. Now, the same sex couple can enjoy their rights to establish their family and grow up their children as well as every person has to respect the way of their life.

In the name of liberty and freedom, the same sex of marriage is allowed and recognized even it obviously against religious values, morality, civilization even nature itself. The president of the USA lauded the decision by the Supreme Court, claiming this is the new era for his country.

Nevertheless, when the movement of polygamy raises their demand to legalize the multi couple’s marriage, some people who strongly support the same sex marriage oppose that right. The main argument is this kind of marriage cause harmful for human life. To justify it, they pick a few cases of polygamy that practiced in the third world countries, showing many wives have been abused and neglected by their husbands.

It is really weird, how could they concern about negative impacts from polygamy but refusing to accept the fact that the same sex marriage is clearly a threat to humanity. Spreading diseases and epidemic like HIV, threatening the civilization and countries by restricting the birth rates, growing the children against the nature, to name but a few. 

But the biggest question is why they are doubled standard? Supporting the same sex marriage for the sake of freedom and human right, but denying to accept polygamy practice with the same reason?

Polygamy in Islam

Face the fact, how to solve the problem of a single mother with her children? How can she survive for herself and her children? Yes, there are men who still single, but are they willing to marry women who already consider as a widow and to sustain her children?

Does he know how to grow up them? Thus, even the polygamy is not the perfect solution for this problem but at least it is more practical as the men who already become a husband has experience to manage the family.

It is undeniable that polygamy might cause negative impacts to women and children, but it is not because of the polygamy itself but the men who practice it. In fact, Islam does not allow polygamy to be exercised except the husband could comply with its regulation. Thus, it is totally wrong if we portray polygamy as the way to fulfill men’s desire instead of helping women and children.

However, it is concerned that people always are misunderstood about the real concept of polygamy in Islam even Muslims themselves. The versus of Quran sometimes has been exploited. For example, when they talk about this versus.

“And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]” ( An-Nisa’ : 3)

This is the only versus in Quran that permits Muslims to have more than one couple in their life, but unfortunately, there are a few misinterpretations of this versus. The extreme most is from one group of Shiah who interpret it as a man deserves to has nine wives when Allah says one, two or there, means the total is nine!

Meanwhile, most of the Muslims do not read the ayat completely as they just focus on these words:-

"Please you of [other] women, two or three or four"

Thus, it seems that Islam allows polygamy without any guidelines and this might tarnish the image of this religion. In contrast, if we read the whole versus, there are few things that should be concerned.

Firstly, Allah has related the permission to practice polygamy with the right of orphans.

Secondly, the practice of polygamy must be complied with one condition which is man must be fair to their wives.

As for the former, we realize that polygamy is the way to help orphan. Even if you look the whole page, it is about orphan. Thus, it can be understood that polygamy in Islam aims to help widows and their children. To justify it, look how our prophet practiced this kind of marriage. Even, he is allowed to marry till ten wives, but nine of them are widows and old women and their children.

Regarding to the justice, it is considered to be the main requirement for husbands who tend to add their wives, it should not be looked down. In fact, Islam orders husbands to fulfill their wives necessities like foods, clothes and home. Thus, those who want to marry more than wife must not only remember this obligation, but have to deliver it fairly.

Back to our issue, the significant impacts and contributions of polygamy are very obvious and clear either for family institutions, the rights of women and children, nation civilization even human survival.

While they strongly struggle to support gay and lesbian in order to accomplish their right, why chose to be double standard when talking about polygamy right?