Elder abuse

The NST headline yesterday attracted me to write my opinion. It was about the elderly people in our country. The golden period should be the best time for them to rest in their house coupled with the best treat from family and enjoy with grandchildren or travel to interesting place around the world with their beloved wife. However, it is unlikely in this country as they are dumped at shopping mall, food court and even bus stop by their own family.

According to the LPPKN report, Malaysia has experienced the dramatic increase of the ageing population. In 1991, it was reported that the life expectancy for aged 60 and above was only 5.8% but after 20 years, the percentage has risen gradually to reach 10.6%. For the next 20 year, it was expected to rise by 16.3%. Thus, the government and society have to face the fact about our future. Moreover, the declining fertility rate has exacerbated this problem, lead this country becomes aged nation in the future.

Nevertheless, it is not the focusing issue for the time being, but what should be concerned is the current challenge faced by this group. Based on LPPKN report, about 675,000 or nearly 30% of them are abandoned and received no financial support from their family. At the same time, moving them out by their children from house, forcing to transfer property under their child's name, treating as servants to cook and care for their grandchildren illustrate that the golden age is the nightmare for some of the senior citizen in this country.

Meanwhile, those who are aware of this issue urge the government to take the solution as what have been taken by our neighbors. India, Philippine, Thailand, for example, prevent the older citizen with the special act.  In New Zealand and Japan, there is no compulsory retirement age, while in Singapore, the parents can sue their children if they don't support for their maintenance. Meanwhile, China makes it mandatory for children to visit their parents.

The parent relationship in Islam

Not surprisingly, when we talk about corrupted attitude and ethic among the modern society, it was already predicted by Prophet Muhammad PBUH. The prophet PBUH mentioned that one of the signs for the hereafter is “A slave woman gives birth to her mistress or master”. Amazingly, it happened in our society as many heartbreak incidents involve old parent and their children are reported by the media.

In fact, Islam emphasizes the relationship between children and their parent in the highest degree. Moreover this relationship is not just about humanity but based on amanah principle to the God. In dealing with the parent, Allah said in the Quran as follow:-

“And your Lord has decreed that you don't worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.” [Quran, 17:23-24]

It is obvious from the versus that humans must be kind to their parents. To explain how far the ‘kind’ should be, Allah said the word “uff” from the children to their parent are prohibited since it could break the their heart. If the simple word is forbidden by god, how can people treat their elderly parent as a servant

In terms of financial support, Islam builds the nafqah (maintenance) system between parent and children. At the beginning, it is the parental obligation to sustain their child's life. Growing up and taking care of them coupled with fulfilling their necessities like for health and education are the part of parent’s responsibilities. If not, they are considered to be the sinners and might be brought to the court. When time goes by, the situation is reserved. Elderly parents who unable to work must be taken care of their children. They have to take care and protect them physically and emotionally as their parent did to them before.